Unwritten Rules of Relationships

It is so hard to find a man! Every man has heard a woman say that at one point or another.   However, at the same time a woman will tell you that she has no problem getting asked out on dates.  So being confused, as anyone would be,you ask them to clear up the obvious contradiction.   Women will tell you  its not hard to find a man but its hard  finding a GOOD man.  So the next obvious question is whats a GOOD man?  Someone that will treat you right and someone can fall in love with.  Ok, a good man is the man that will treat you right and someone you can fall in love with.  Why is that so hard to find?  You would think it should be rather easy to find.  Many men want someone to love and want respect as well.  So finding someone who loves you should be rather easy.  However it really not that easy.

I am a firm believer that your life is the sum total of the choices you have made.   Many women end up with bad men not because the men are bad but because women make bad choices when they are looking for something  good.   Can a woman think a man is  good but all of a sudden he turns around, betrays your trust and hurts you out of the blue.  Yes that can happen.   My point is many times you can’t find a GOOD man because you really don’t know how to choose a good man.  When someone says I want a GOOD man, just ask them what is a good man?  If they say anything like “Someone I can love” , “Someone that will treat me right and with respect” , you have a problem right there.   Shouldn’t every woman want a man to treat them well and with respect?  Of course.  Shouldn’t all women want to find someone they can fall in love with and have a family? Of course.   However, when a woman says that she is speaking about her desires for him.  She is not talking about what that man is.  Is he a man honest man when you are not around?  Who gives a damn if the man is honest with you but lies to everyone else.   A liar is a liar.  Is he a thoughtful man when you are not around?  Does he care about HIS family?  Does he look after his grandparents?  Does he care about HIS community?  Do other people know him as respectful when you are not around.   Too many women based they relationships based on how they are treated in the relationship.  You may say “If he treats me right why does it matter what else he does.”  What the man does when you are not around is who he really is.  The measure of the goodness of a man is in what he does with everyone and everything in his life that nothing to do with you!  Men and women can put on their best face when they are trying to get someone.  However, after he gets you it wont be long before  they way he treats everything in his life except you, will soon include you.  Then all of a sudden he is a jerk!  I thought he was different.  I didn’t know he had these problems.  Blah, blah, blah.

The truth is you are looking in the wrong place to find a GOOD man.   You don’t have to ask many questions because people lie anyway.  You have to be very observant to see the GOOD he does that nothing to do with you.   If he does good without you, he will be good to you!!  Then you will have a much better chance of finding a GOOD man.

I’m sure many woman have been out on dates they thought went really well, only to never get a call back for a second date.

You figure if you had a good time and want a second date, then he certainly must. WRONG!

Here are 8 things you can do to pretty much ensure a second date.

1. Smile when you greet him. Nothing beats a welcoming smile. Too often we greet our dates with a look of shear anger, which gives them the perception that we are either uninterested or not really happy about going on the date.

2. Talk like you have some sense and not like a baracuda from the gutter. Believe it or not, men do like intelligent women who speak proper english.

3. Dress appropriately. Try your best to dress with sense, style and class. If you’re over 30, please don’t wear something my teenage daughter would wear. If you’re fat and out of shape, remember the rule, just because it stretches that doesn’t mean it’s for you. And for God sakes don’t dress like a Friday night whore.

4. Don’t dominate the conversion. You may be a wonderful person, but remember the world doesn’t revolve around you.

5. Ask him questions and take interest in what he says. Often times, women don’t ask men questions and therefore learn absolutely nothing about who they’re on a date with.

6. Don’t ask him how much money he makes…. PERIOD!

7. Don’t be a maneater and grill him on if and when he wants to get married, if he wants kid and when he wants them, etc, etc.

8. THANK HIM for the lovely date. A little appreciation goes a long way…..