Too Tired for Intimacy?
4 May
Are you too tired for intimacy in your relationship? This topic has been on my mind for the last two weeks. While watching the Sex in the City movie, the topic “Too Tired for Intimacy” popped in my head. This was motivated by the Miranda story line. If you haven’t seen the movie; I’ll quickly give you an overview, so I guess this is somewhat a movie spoiler.
MOVIE SPOILER ALERT: So in the movie Sex in the City, Miranda and Steve were going through a serious sex drought and Steve eventually cheated on her. Miranda’s complaint was she was just too tired. She works full time, they have one child and they’re taking care of an elderly parent with progressing Alzheimer’s. So due to all of these factors, they’d managed to go six months without sex; I repeat – six months without sex.
Although this is a movie, the scenario applies to real life. I hear women talk about how tired they are and how their sexual drive has decreased since having kids all the time. So this is obviously a relevant topic. We’ve all seen a million talk shoes with couples on there talking about this very thing and I’m quite sure one out of five of your married friends has discussed this with you.
I know some women are going to down right hate me for the next couple of paragraphs I’m getting ready to write, but I have to say it for it may save your marriage. In marriage or people who are in deeply committed relationships; intimacy is just as important as communication. The intimacy a couple shares between one another is crucial to the nurturing of your relationship. Your relationship is like a garden and if you fail to water that garden, it will indeed die. A garden has to be tended to, just as your relationship does. I hear so many women say they’re too tired to have sex because of work/mom responsibilities. I hear this from working moms as well as stay at home moms. Here are a few points to ponder on.
1. It’s not just about having sex. It’s about connecting on an intimate level with your spouse. Being in tune with one another.
2. Intimacy should never be considered a “task”. If you feel it is such, you seriously need to change your thinking.
3. The kids do not come first – YOUR MARRIAGE DOES. If your marriage is healthy, your children will be healthy….marinate on that for a minute. Read it twice if you must.
4. Keep your marital bed a marital bed. Do not allow your children to form a habit of sleeping in your bed. Your bedroom needs to be your private domain. (Note: this does not mean you don’t love your children. However, it does mean you are committed to placing barriers where they need to be placed for the sake of retaining a level of privacy between you and your spouse).
Intimacy is one of the key factors in keeping a couple engaged and connected to one another. Often people think marriage takes care of itself, but that is far from the truth. People have to truly commit to making a conscious effort to do everything in their power to keep their garden watered. This includes making time for intimacy.
Questions to YOU:
- Do you feel intimacy is important?
- Are you suffering from an intimacy drought?
- What are your thoughts on this topic?
