Unwritten Rules of Relationships

Since we have just come out of one of the most historic elections in US history with everyone from Joe “the plumber” to Jay-Z showing a new found interest in politics. It seems everyone has a strong opinion on one issue or another nowadays.  The issues range from the Wall Street bailout, gay marriage, illegal immigration, General Motors and yes, torture. It seems like everyone has something they feel strongly about, but do your political views go overboard and shrink your dating options?  Are you only going to date democrats?  How about only dating a “real” conservative republican?  I always thought in “dating”,  people were a little more open to find out about the person beyond the politics first before making a decision.  Yeah right! More and more I’m seeing people  not being as open minded about dating as you think.

I was speaking a group of friends and one of them has very strong views that lean heavily toward the republican side of the isle. So much so that if they are on a date and they find out during the course of conversation they differ strongly politically, they end the date immediately (I’m talking in the middle of salad at dinner immediately!) and go home.  I thought that was way too extreme, but as the group talked it seemed that people who are very political definitely factor that into their unwritten dating rules.  So the unwritten rule for today is:

Unwritten Rule: Politics can play politricks in dating! so be careful!

Questions to YOU:

Have you met someone you were “feeling”, but was turned off by their political views?

How important are politics to your relationships?

ABWS (Angry Black Women Syndrome) – do you have it? A good friend of mine recommended a DVD he felt I shoud watch called “Diary of a Tired Black Man”. I guess its been out for a while,  but I am not really into the ghetto style DVDs that hit the street, so I am not surprised I could have missed it. I have to say I was surprised by the content. It’s not a movie per se; it’s a collection of film shorts with commentary from people on the street talking about all aspects of Angry Black Women Syndrome.

To be fair, the film creates the term Angry Black Women Syndrome, but as the film progresses the filmmaker clearly states all women can have anger issues. At the core, the DVD addresses a side of male/female relationships that aren’t always talked about. There has been so much said, written, sang and shown about how men mistreat women, but the other side rarely gets talked about. The fact this film was made from the perspective of a “good man”, made this film different. The term “good man” refers to a man who truly loves his wife/girlfriend and family; one who is trying his best to do right by them. The main point in this movie is “angry” women can make a good man “tired”. Tired to the point where he wants out of the relationship/marriage.

The DVD brings out a few interestings things. The main issue being – many women are angry from the result of bad relationships with men. The DVD talks to several women who admit they are angry and every one of them has had bad relationships. Another contributing factor is the lack of a father figure [people refer to this as having  "daddy issues"]. Women admitted to their own ”anger” and problems with men due to not having a good relationship with their father or the lack of their father’s presence during childhood. The film also talked about how a womens friend(s) can cause her to mess up her own relationship.  It’s a shock to see women finally admit these things, but it is no surprise to men !!

The film was interesting and I recommend you view it. If for nothing else, it will really create some good discussions with your friends, family or your significant other. The film made me want to throw the following questions out for your response:

Women:

Are you an angry woman?

Do you have friends that are angry women?

What normally caused your relationships to go bad?

What does it really mean when you say you are a strong woman?

Men:

Have you dated with an angry woman?

If you have been in a realtionship with an “angry” woman, How did it make you feel?

Did you become a “tired” man?

Both:

How do you resolve conflicts in your relationships (not what you should do but what you actually do ) ?